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Wednesday, 26 February 2014

You're not fooling anyone

Guy got on the skytrain this afternoon drinking out of a can wrapped in a plastic bag. Anyone want to guess what was in the can? Anyone think it was coke? What's one? Seriously dude, even if the can in a bag makes it slightly less obvious that you're drinking anything at all, you still smell like beer.

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

I think he may have taken a seriously wrong turn on his commute this morning

There's "I didn't know it would be snowing on campus" and then there's this guy. The picture is a bit blurry because I was trying to capture him as I walked, but you get the idea. He's in not just shorts, but white shorts and flip flops. Maybe he thought he was getting on the bus to Bermuda this morning, but he was mistaken. He was poorly prepared when it was just cold and rainy, but then we got to SFU and it was snowing. He may have had a sweatshirt and an umbrella, but I'm pretty sure neither of those keep your toes from freezing off.

Monday, 17 February 2014

There should be a personality assessment before you buy a plane ticket; if you fail, you have to ride with the cargo.

Today's transit travesty takes place in a different setting. I'm on a flight from Chicago to San Francisco. I'm already unhappy because my original flight was cancelled, so I'm stuck taking 3 flights instead of 2 and I'm getting home about 9 hours later than anticipated. The plane is basically full and I'm in a window seat, which I hate. There's not even enough legroom for me to cross my legs and I'm pretty sure you had to be a member of Cirque du Soleil to get anything out of your bag from under the seat in front of you. Then, of course, the guy in front of me decides he needs to have his seat reclined as far back as it will go, leaving me with essentially zero personal space. Fine. People are entitled to put their seat back on a flight if they want. But of course, it doesn't stop there.
A short while into the flight I discover he's a wiggler, shifting back and forth in his seat, stretching, putting his arms in the air and grabbing the back of his head rest which is essentially right in my face. Not gonna lie, by the third or fourth time his hands invaded my limited personal space bubble, I seriously considered licking his fingers to deter him from doing it again. But I didn't, because EWWW. 
Now the seat next to Stretchy McSpaceInvader is empty, so halfway through the flight he reclines that chair too. My supervisor is in the seat next to me and now he can't work on his laptop, so he asks the guy to put the *empty* seat back up. And you know what the guy says? "Actually it bothers me when it's not reclined." Ummm …. what?! Gee, I'm sorry the lovely empty seat next to you bothers you, but it bothers me that you are a douche, so I guess we all lose today. 

My supervisor actually had to get the flight attendant to make Stretch put the seat up.  Of course, Stretch did not go down without a fight. When the flight attendant told him he was lucky that no one was sitting next to him he replied that he would actually prefer to have someone in the seat, because then they would have the seat reclined anyway. First of all, not necessarily, you are an idiot. Secondly, you didn't pay for that seat so why are we even having this conversation. And third, the flight attendant responded that if someone was sitting there that person's arm would be there to bother him. I should have started kicking his seat, but there was literally not enough room for my legs to make a kicking motion. 

But, seriously, are you kidding me, dude? It's a plane. We're all uncomfortable, so join the club. Suck it up. Put on your big boy panties and act like a man, not like a spoiled toddler. 

Monday, 3 February 2014

Transit Rule #5 ...maybe? I've lost count.

And then some guy across from me on the skytrain kept picking his beard, which leads me to the following super simple transit rule: "Don't pick ANY of your body parts on transit."
Just, eww.


I'm sitting on the bus in an aisle seat, minding my own business. There's a woman standing in the aisle beside me but facing the other direction. There's some space between me and her, maybe half a person's worth. Then more people start getting on the bus. It's not full, but we're near the front so people getting on the front door want to move past us. Apparently, standing girl was oblivious to how much space was behind her, because she just stood there as people tried to get around her. Now I can hardly blame the people getting on the bus for repeatedly attacking my head with their backpacks or elbows; no, I blame standing girl for not doing what she should have done and what everyone else was trying to do and (sing it with me...) MOVING TO THE BACK OF THE BUS!

Luckily, I wasn't even finished typing this post when I got to take out my aggression on some dimwit who didn't understand escalators. I realize it must be hard to figure out what to do when everyone in front of you who is standing on the escalator has moved to the right. I'll give you a hint: the answer is not "stand on the left side of the escalator". A lesson which I imagine he learned rather quickly when I "accidentally" bumped into him from the back and then the side as I passed him on the right trying to walk up the escalator.